Friday, July 30, 2010

Driving Lessons - For Wisconsin

Now I know that in the big scheme of things this isn't really worth getting myself all work up about, but I seriously about have a stroke every time I find myself driving through Wisconsin. What up with the left lane possession-phobia? Geeeyaaah!

Seriously, some basic common courtesy, highway driving etiquette is needed in this State! I'm sure that the majority of Wisconsinites are fine, wonderful people when they are NOT driving on the highway. When they are, they suck. So here are my suggestions for them:

1. The right lane is the lane you get to go whatever speed you like, really! No pressure.
2. The left lane, the one you like so much, is for PASSING. Sure, if there's no one around, hang out in that left lane all you want.
3. When another car comes along however, that would like to go just a smidge faster, please yield. Here are some finer points to yielding:
- DO NOT speed up only to slow down as soon as you encounter more traffic that makes it impossible for someone (me) to go around you.
- DO NOT speed up and block other cars into the right lane if they might venture to pass you on the right since you have refused to change lanes.
- If by some luck, the other drives does pass you, do not race down the road hunting the other down to prevent their speedier progress.
4. I promise, changing lanes is not difficult at all. Just a slight turn of the steering wheel usually does it. And yes, you can get back to your beloved left lane as soon as I go by, that car a mile ahead should not be a problem in the event they are going the same slowish rate as you (well, except for your sudden love of speed when other cars approach).
5. When there is traffic, sure, it may take awhile to move over, the car with the intention to pass should not hang out on your bumper or anything. As long as you are actually passing other cars in the right lane, that's cool. Just MOVE OVER once you've actually passed all of those cars. Please.
6. A turn signal is not a beacon to your inner toddler - yes, you must share the road and let a car that needs to change lanes to make their exchange/exit safely. You do not always have to be "first"

Since this lesson may not reach the majority of Wisconsin drivers, if any, and due to the fact that knowledge alone results in 0% change in practice, the following tips are for those of you from the other 49 who may find yourselves driving on a Wisconsin highway. You must understand the psychology of the Wisconsin Left Lane Lover. :
1. As long as you appear to want to get around them, they will go as slow as they like.
2. If you try to pass on the right, they will speed up.
3. You don't actually have to pass them if you stay in the right lane and it appears that you might get ahead of them. They will now go a rate of speed that is appropriate and you don't really have to go around.
4. However, with so many Left Lane Lovers, the right lane is generally free and clear anyway. You can drive in the right lane all day long most of the time without any obstacles.

Is there another route between Minnesota and Chicago?

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