This post takes its cue from a post by Sarah over at One Starry Night about change. Sarah shared some intense life events over the last decade and that she fears change. If you don't follow Sarah, I definitely suggest that you go check out her blog. She is a truly authentic person and I think that's why her photography is so amazing!
Well, her post got me thinking about my own reactions to change. I tend to embrace change and am always looking forward to "what's next?" I'm not sure what that says about me, maybe that I should take time to enjoy the moment and perhaps be more reflective about what has passed. Since I'm in the midst of some big changes right now, looking back over the last decade seemed like a great idea!!
2001 - In June I gave birth to my first son. It was a dream come true, except for the c-section. Even that was sort of a blessing in disquise. I returned to work the week of September 11th. I mourned that my little boy would grow up in a world fundamentally different from the one I'd known. At work, I started on my APIB reliability (Assessment of Preterm Infant Behavior) and went to my first NIDCAP Trainers Meeting in Skamania, Washington.
2002 - A good year for my family. In August I became pregnant again. Trainers meeting was in Colonial Williamsburg, VA
2003 - I gave birth to my daughter on her brother's birthday by CBAC (cesarean birth after cesarean - a term used to describe a "failed" vaginal birth attempt after cesarean). Probably one of the worst years of my life but as with most things, it really did serve to make me a stronger person. Another mark on this year was the sudden onset of optic neuropathy experienced by my husband while we attended the NIDCAP meeting in Estes Park, CO. This is typically a "first strike" symptom of Multiple Sclerosis. *knock-on-wood* so far so good for the most part!
2004 - I achieved reliability on the APIB and continued my studies to train under Heidi Als, PhD to become a NIDCAP Trainer. Trainers meeting was in Oklahoma City that year. "I loved that world" my 3-yo son said as we left - Trainers meetings are great for my family who get to play while I'm working away!
2005 - Achieved reliability as a NIDCAP Trainer ! Also became pregnant with my second son. A great joy to me as I felt like I was really getting another chance to do better for myself and unborn child. (Trainers meeting was in Connecticut - my colleagues from Holland were amazed to hear of the barbaric birth culture here "don't most people give birth at home?" they asked)
2006 - Started off with a bang and had my son naturally on his due date at the end of January by vba2c. That's vaginal birth after two cesareans. Getting there wasn't easy, and I had to search and search for a provider to "allow" me to labor. (looking back I wish I'd done a home birth) I did find a provider - right down the hall from my office. Trainers meeting in Sun Valley, Idaho - hey these are the only vacations I get!
2007 - Had my first miscarriage that summer. Agonizing experience. Meeting was in Combrit, France. Went on a 2 week trip through Germany and France with hubby. Lots of fun! First time ever away from the kids. We missed them terribly.
2008 - Had my second miscarriage that summer. Even worse experience than the first and fell into a deep depression that I'm maybe even just now starting to recover from. Meeting was in Raleigh, NC where I met Nils Bergman http://www.kangaroomothercare.com/ - the main speaker for the conference I just recently put together.
2009 - The year of existence. My husband went on a freak out mission and did some really crappy things, which maybe someday I'll be able to write about. Planned and hosted the NIDCAP meeting in Chicago. Really enjoyed event planning, so soon after, I initiated the planning for the Skin to Skin care conference this year.
2010 - A big year of change for me. Here's a few: starting grad school in the fall, dropped my percentage at the med center (will continue on as a NIDCAP Trainer) and started working part-time at the Erikson Institute. Trainers meeting is in The Netherlands later this year! Still working on the marriage with my new motto: Love is the Only medicine.
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